Validation & Strength

Here’s a video, that however cheesy it may appear, fills me with unbelievable chills.  It fills me with an inner beauty that diffuses outwardly to my entire body and a knowingness that is palpable.  I am thankful for all the artists and believers out there who aid me in keeping the flame of passion for this alive!

Convergence 2012

Not only am I always moved to a higher place when listening to Enya, but I am also overwhelmed by the visual exquisiteness of the universe outside the planet Earth and the connection to all that I feel.  I am just as easily moved by the beauty surrounding me here on Earth, as well.

Categories: Inspiration | 1 Comment

Dream Art & Movie Inspiration

by Me 12/2011

I’ve been so full of ideas lately.  But I know I need to create more art in my life, so after 7 months of being completely dry of any art-creating, I started out with some baby steps (see above).  In addition, I have had the idea of creating my own tarot deck.  I was first inspired by an art group started on called Soul Collage or something.  I am not sure I will ever make it to one of their meetings, but they came up with the idea of making your own personal deck of collaged cards.  Then I thought of making my own tarot as I go along.  I do not want to make cards using the same old themes, I want to be more original, so I may focus them on dreaming…?  I do not know, but I think I will continue working on the ideas little by little and see what develops.

Just a few moments ago, I was greeted by a lovely email about a new meetup group called Intuitive Painting…woohoo!

Today’s horoscope on my phone: (always so relevant)

A recent disappointment or setback my have left you feeling disillusioned about a dream.  But you need your dreams, Libra.  They give you the great hope of fulfilling your true purpose here on Earth.  Your dreams are your most pure expression of yourself.  Don’t allow anyone to make you feel small or foolish for holding on to a special dream.  Even though you have not yet found success with it, you need to keep the passion burning.  This is an auspicious day for bringing a dream back to life.  Find a way to inspire yourself again.

I did manage to do a bit of self inspiring today, because each day is filled with little miracles.  I had been feeling disillusioned about what I had just been feeling total excitement from; reading and using The Secret.  The blast of fresh freedom air I had felt I gained from reading the book had sort of escaped my lungs after some personal setback punches in the chest in the last few weeks.  My enthusiasm seems to sway back and forth between total belief and uncertainty.  I woke up a few days feeling unsure as to whether I could keep up the new, strong beliefs I know will help my life become more balanced and abundant.  However, I managed to remember to find the kindness in my heart to allow myself the space to feel whatever it is that I needed to feel, with the knowledge that I can waver from my mighty inner warrior who is determined to arrive at the best place.  I am allowed to put down my unyielding shield and sit back on the bench of uncertainty.  It is in those times of ambiguity and uneasiness that I find the best teachers of wisdom within.  As strange as that sounds.  However, it must be done with kindness and as non-judgmentally as possible.  Too much judgment gets in the way of listening to one’s inner voice that knows exactly what you want and how to get there.

Back to today, after plenty of catch-up sleep, I had a friend visit, one who was there for me during my struggles with unemployment many times, and tried to help as much as possible.  I provided dinner and a movie.  It felt nice to give back.  And to share lottery tickets, so if one or the other wins that $173M on Saturday, we’ll be sharing it.  🙂

The movie was, of course, inspiring to me, since it was played on my tv, which I always create a bubble around and ask it to only show me positive messages and things that will help me on the path.  The movie is called, Our Idiot Brother, and sounded just like another totally goofy waste of time.  But it turned out to be a great movie, one that reminds us of the importance of honesty and being true to everyone out of love.  It is how I would like to live my life and continue to advance toward.  It was such a feel good movie that I think I will watch it again tomorrow night.  🙂

Our Idiot Brother Trailer:

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“How Shamans Dream the World Into Being”

Lately, every single thing I read or come across is relevant and syncs with my current path of inquiry.  That’s how I know it’s right.  Here’s an article from Spirit of Change Magazine:

We are what we think.
Everything we are arises from our thoughts.
With our thinking we create the world.
— Buddha

How Shamans Dream the World Into Being

Whether you realize it or not, we are all dreaming the world into being. What we’re engaging in is not the sleeping dream we’re familiar with, but the waking dream we craft with our eyes open. When we’re unaware that we all share the power to co-create reality with the help of the universe itself, that power slips away from us and our dream turns into a nightmare. We begin to feel we’re the victims of an unknown and frightening creation that we’re unable to influence or change. Events seem to control us and trap us.

The only way to end this dreadful reality is to awaken to the fact that it, too, is a dream, and recognize our ability to write a better story, one that the universe will work with us to manifest. As soon as you awaken to your power to dream, you begin to flex the muscles of your courage. Then you can dream bravely: letting go of your limiting beliefs and pushing past your fears. You can begin to create truly original dreams that germinate in your soul and bear fruit in your life.

Courageous dreaming allows you to create from the source, the quantum soup of the universe where everything exists in a latent or potential state. Physicists understand that in the quantum world of the universe’s smallest, elemental parts, nothing is “real” until it is observed. But quantum events do not occur in the laboratory only. They also happen inside our brain, on this page, and everywhere around us. When you observe any part of this dream, the great matrix of energy, you can change reality and alter the entire dream.

Modern physics is describing what the ancient wisdomkeepers of the Americas have long known. These shamans, known as the Earthkeepers, say that we are dreaming the world into being through the very act of witnessing it. Scientists believe that we are only able to do this in the very small, subatomic world. Shamans understand that we also dream the larger world that we experience with our senses. Like the Aborigines, the Earthkeepers live in a world where the dreamtime has not been pushed into the domain of sleep like it has for us. They know that all of creation arises from, and returns to, this dreamtime.

The dreamtime, the creative matrix, does not exist in a place outside of us. Rather, it infuses all matter and energy, connecting every creature, every rock, every star, and every ray of light or bit of cosmic dust. The power to dream is the power to participate in creation itself. For the Earthkeepers, dreaming reality is not only an ability, but a duty, one we must perform with grace and love so that our grandchildren will inherit a world where they can live in peace and abundance.

Shamans of the Andes and the Amazon believe that we can only access the power of this force by raising our level of consciousness. When we do so, we become aware that we’re like a drop of water in a vast, divine ocean, distinct yet immersed in something much larger than ourselves. It’s only when we experience our connection to infinity that we’re able to dream powerfully. In fact, it’s our sense of separation from infinity that makes us become trapped in a nightmare in the first place. To end the nightmare, to reclaim our power of dreaming reality and craft a better reality, we need to have a visceral understanding of our dreaming power in every cell of our body and stop feeling disassociated and disconnected. If we don’t get beyond mere intellectual understanding of this concept, we’ll end up lowering the bar and creating a far less glorious and beautiful experience of the world than we’re capable of crafting. It takes courage to taste infinity.

The Earthkeepers believe that the world is real, but only because we are dreaming it into being. When we lack courage, we have to settle for the world that is being dreamed by our culture or by our genes — the nightmare. To dream courageously and be empowered, you must be willing to use your heart and make a conscious decision to dream a sacred dream of joy, peace, glory and having the life you want.

Excerpted with permission from Courageous Dreaming: How Shamans Dream The World Into Being by Alberto Villoldo, PhD. (2008, Hay House)

Alberto Villoldo, PhD, is a medical anthropologist and psychologist who has studied the spiritual practices of the Amazon and the Andes for more than 25 years. Author of numerous best-selling books, including Shaman, Healer, Sage, The Four Insights, Courageous Dreaming and Power Up Your Brain, Alberto is the founder of The Four Winds Society, and instructs individuals throughout the world in the practice of energy medicine. Visit

Categories: Dreaming, Shamanism | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

What Does Kindness Mean to Me?

Here’s a video that moved me to tears this morning.  Well, it appears many things are moving me to tears today, as I find my mind and life and clogged energies being cleared.  I begin seeing the beauty in things, the happiness of daily tasks because they are no longer seen as a trap or prison, the possibilities that were never available to me before.  And as I welcome more LOVE in…

As I allow the idea of more self-love and self-compassion, my heart begins to heal.  The hard walls that were up to protect it begin to soften.  I catch myself in mid-thought when I realize the old story I told myself about the state of the world and the victim and lesser quality brand of human I was, is no longer valid.  And it has been only me standing in my own way.

Kindness begins to seep in.  My inner peace that is the true me, is free.

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Act, Dream, Plan, Believe

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” ~Anatole France

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Message from John Holland

These words particularly move me since making a connection with Janice and Susan.  This is dedicated to you guys.  🙂

You Can Make a Difference

I’ve always been a connector. A connector is someone that brings people together with the foresight that they have a reason to meet. Even as a small child I would organize for two people to meet, knowing there was something that would benefit them. I continue to do this today. Why? Because, I feel that as a soul it’s part of my purpose to assist others, to help in any way I can. I move them to another level and in doing so help their soul evolve. Hopefully one day we’ll all be able to do this for each other. Sometimes, when I’ve orchestrated a meeting, people ask me: “What do you get out of it John?” I want nothing in return, but I get real pleasure when that meeting results in a new opportunity or some other less tangible benefit. When it’s my time to go to the Other-Side, I feel I will cross over with no regrets, because I did try to do everything in my power to affect change.

Do you remember a time in your life when a certain person came into your life, and changed your whole world or belief system? For all you know, they might have touched your life in a way that sent you in whole new direction on your spiritual path. Also, when people touch each other’s lives, they may never realize how the impact of that one interaction affects many other lives.

How can you touch another’s life in a positive way and why would you want to? Because I believe that’s what being a spiritual being in human form is all about. It’s about embracing life and living as a soul. It’s about learning, growing, loving, sharing, and constantly evolving with the time we have here.

Helping another creates a ripple effect that will touch more people than you’ll ever know. I helped an elderly woman the other day at the supermarket and she looked at me as if she was in shock that someone actually took the time to help her. She told me that she’d had such an emotional day, that my helping her gave her the boost that she needed. Maybe she passed on that positive attitude when she got home and someone else benefited. A simple act from an unexpected person, a stranger, and even children who are truly our best teachers can touch our lives in positive ways. Such acts nourish us with courage, hope, inspiration, strength, and often times direction. By touching lives – you’re touching miracles.

Sometimes, I know how hard it is to help someone else when you feel you cannot even help yourself. Doing so really does soothe your soul. Try it. As we are all unique, you’ll have a way to touch someone’s life in a way that may be totally different to someone else. Touching another life in a positive way is a personal thing, and it doesn’t have to be something big – even a smile can move a mountain. Sometimes it just comes to you or it could be as simple as a spontaneous kind gesture.

All I’m asking is to be conscious of helping another. You may be saying: “But, I’m just one person, what can I do?” You can’t change the world, but you can start by changing yourself. What ever is going on in the inside will be reflected on the outside. Everything in the world is based on the inner consciousness of man.

Always remember, that one person (that means you) can make all the difference. You are a soul, so believe and know that you do have power and you do matter in this collective universe.

John’s Lesson

I want to take this time now to THANK everyone for your support this year. If I have helped in some small way, if I have opened a door for you to discover and understand your own soul, or if I helped you to know that we do all go on and that love is everlasting – then I feel I have done my job.

Please also remember this holiday season that your loved ones will be around you, so honor them, talk about them, and bring out the pictures. You might just get that sign you were hoping for or they may surprise you in a different way.

This is my last newsletter for 2011 and I want to wish you all the best this holiday season and look forward with new hope and enlightenment in 2012!

Your loved ones are and always will be – just a thought away!

Thank you, John, for my morning inspiration today!

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White Car, White Clouds

For some reason, this mornings’ dreams lead me to remember the amazing gift and undeniably beautiful message I was delivered through a dream from my father.  Over the last year I have come to the realization that my father who died 17 years ago is one of my guardian angels.  There is no doubt in my mind of that.  The mere fact that I survived all the wild days of my life and adventures with minimal harm and few scars, speaks mountains to the fact that I am being guarded with uncommon and extraordinary vigilance (even though I did my best to push its limits and begged to be freed of this world).  No matter what, I come out of every situation unscathed (after some slight recovery time), and usually bored with my “good luck charm” characteristics that my sister used to attribute to me.  I no longer take that quality for granted, of course.

It started with my first experience in connecting with spirit.  It arrived unexpectedly, as I spent a full day in September, 2010 at a health/wellness/spirituality expo.  I attended one of the free hour-long workshops and I don’t even remember the name of it or the women conducting it.  But it was my first experience with a medium.  I’d had a few experiences with psychics before, but this was new.  I was somewhat skeptical that the people she was reading for in the audience were paid actors who they set up to be part of the show.  And I still felt this skeptical feeling even though the validation she was bringing to these people from their dead loved ones was making me cry!  Well, as soon as we started to do a group exercise in grounding and centering and then some psychometry with our neighbor we’d never met before, I felt my father’s presence.  And then I began to realize that the sort of stabbing feeling in my right shoulder where my ugly mole lives was him standing behind me, poke, poke, poking me…like, here I am, pay attention to me, you brat!  Nah, nah, nah, nah!  As he would have done in his jokester manner.  The tears flowed heavily with this major realization!  My father, who I’d nearly denied the energy of even a few thoughts for years and years is now standing right there with me!?!

I pushed it under the mat of my rational mind so I could collect myself and carry on with life, not quite sure what to do with this information.  What was also nice, was that my neighbor that I was practicing psychometry with, got only one image for me, and that was the White Wolf; a symbol that is still significant to me.

Anyway, I believe it was shortly after that expo that I welcomed a momentous gift in the form of a dream from my father.  I took a four-day, what I call, self-cleansing retreat in a cabin in the woods in the western part of the state.  I was free to wander the woods, meditate with nature, study my tarot, and truly unwind.

One night, in the dream, I found myself sitting in the back seat of the last car my dad drove.  It had belonged to my grandmother before that, so it was quite a seasoned machine, but so well made, it never broke down.  It was totally white.  The gi-normous front end stuck out for what seemed like miles and the leather/vinyl interior was totally white.  My father was sitting at the wheel sort of driving, as we were not on any road, we were moving slowly and peaceful through the clouds.  I could not see his face because of the angle from where I was in the back.  I could only see the back of his head and his gigantic smile in the rear-view mirror.

At first, I said, where are we going?  And then I started to cry and become angry, like why won’t he speak to me, why is he teasing me like this?  Next, I asked him, why are you doing this?  I believe I saw a tear run down his cheek even as he continued to smile.

And this is still as fresh in my memory as a real memory would be…perhaps even better preserved, because I have not spoken this or written this too much at all since.

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Dream Traveling Again…

This morning I was awakened in a curious manner, but not one that I am completely new to.  I went to bed around midnight, hoping to sleep until 8 or 9am to feel refreshed for a day of working at a Reiki Clinic, but I awoke at 7:30, startled by someone trying to shake me awake, struggling to make my eyes open in order to respond to this person, sheer confusion as to where the hell I was, striking fear as to why they wouldn’t stop and kept getting a little too violating, and reorienting as to which place was real.

The dream started out in a meeting with my old psychotherapist, Annie, with whom I have not worked with in nearly 4 years.  In real life, we have recently opened up communication again briefly seeing if we may want to do more work together.  So, in the dream we are meeting again.  However, we are meeting in a noisy and turbulent setting, instead of the quiet and peace of a single office.  It appears to be a sort of lunch/cafeteria eating area.  The only conversation I remember is as Annie begins to tell me that if we run into each other in public or are attending the same event of some sort, we are not to act like we know each other, we are not to converse at those places because that is her policy.

I remember speaking directly to her about how that made me feel hurt.  How can I trust her to know all about me and then pretend that she does not know me at all?  Well, she begins to get bitter and annoyed with me, saying something about me not truly wanting her help then.  I can see her getting angry.  She averts her eyes, she moves away from me and starts doing other things, as if to convey that our conversation is over.  I practically have to chase her around this loud, chaotic place.  I remember feeling conflicted on the inside about whether I wanted to spend money on this situation, yet really feeling so much love for her.  I was torn and feeling sad about her anger with me.  Finally she sits down at a long lunch table filled with other strangers, I have to slide all the way to the other end to get closer to her, as she hands out, what appears to be, cheeseburgers to everyone at the table.

Next thing I know, I’m in another place completely.  The feeling is that it is some part of Ireland or England with grassy hills and flowing streams.  I’m climbing up the side of this small stream that is flowing up and over the top, downward toward me, and I’m in my current house slippers.  I need to get to the top and over to the other side for some reason.  There is a sizable hand-shaped stone that is hanging over the stream at the top of the hill, sort of guiding the water and pointing outward toward nothing really.  When I get up to it, I think to myself that I know what this will do if I try to use it (as in using it to help me climb) and I simply push upward on it and it easily moves.  I push it off the top and watch it tumble down the hill, splashing its way down.

I scramble over the top without much to see on the other side but more of the same type of landscape.  I am trying to reach a certain place.  I throw my slippers over the top, because the land where I can stand again without climbing is not that far down and I am hoping to keep the slippers dry.  As I hop on down toward the slippers, my weight causes them to sink into the mud a bit and fill with water anyway.  Damn, I’m going to have to have wet feet all day again.

Then, as I look up, some people appear.  From this higher vantage point, I can see the landscape I have just come from for untold miles and it shifts and changes quietly, as expected in the dream world.  I get a bit hesitant about whether these are friends or foes.  One comes flying at me on what appears to be a small hover board across the bodies of water making up the landscape.  She’s mostly in white and the board is white.  And I remember thinking, damn, she just traveled over all that space in a fraction of time it took me to walk!

The conversation is muddled in my memory, but the other guys who felt very Viking-like pointed in the direction I was heading and said something about the place we were all heading back to.  I think they wanted me to join them, but I denied their request as they moved passed me and continued on their way.

Next thing I know, I think I’m napping in that same place I had just climbed to, even sleeping practically in the stream, but not all the way.  And this is where the shaking began, in the dream.  I was laying on my right side, as I was in the real world, as well.  Two hands began to shake me on the left, exposed side.  I had some time in astral catalepsy, in the dream, where I wanted to wake up and respond to the person trying to signal me to wake up, but my eyes would just not open.  I felt like I was moving my head to turn and look in their direction, but I could not pry my eyes open.  I could even see the bright light through my eyelids and I felt like I was trying to force them open for a while.  The rest of my body was useless, of course.  The shaking became more intense and I felt like the hands were getting too violating, growing too close to me under the armpit, like it was going to pick me up.

I was filled with a bit of panic mixed with terror and anxiety…what the hell was going to happen to me?  Finally, the catalepsy broke and I opened my eyes into the real world and was filled with the strangest tingling, much like a full-body shiver, but much deeper, and most of it radiated from the places on my body where the hands were and then it traveled down my body out my feet.  It felt like a long shiver and I almost felt like I couldn’t wait for it to end, although it probably lasted no more than 10 seconds.

I picked up my head, half expecting to see someone there, feeling scared.  However, there was nothing there, as the other half of me knew would be the case.  I said out loud, please leave me alone.  I know that shiver/chill, it belongs to the other side.  It is not my first encounter with being touched from the other side.

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Hello world!

Welcome to This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Well, this is my first blog ever!  Thanks to Nathalie for being the final inspiration for me to start one of these…I considered it after seeing Julie & Julia, such a cute movie…and then I often see my friends posting blogs on Facebook.  I decided that I’d begin today.  I often find myself coming up with endless ideas and questions that I’d like to share with others and see what they think about them.  Or I could just be happy brainstorming by myself, too.  I think I would just like a concrete a place to get concepts out of my head so I can make room for more thoughts and imaginative ideas.

Also, I’ve always wanted to work on my vocabulary, and this is a great way to start.  The thesaurus is a fun friend of the poet and often a necessity.  And, take, for example, those last two lines I wrote…they are filled with boring and limited vocabulary…like “great” and “fun.”  BORING!  LOL.  So, I’m going to start today.  A new word that I’m going to use more…….get ready…..I’m looking it up……The word of the day is….INORDINATE…it means very large.  Example:  There are an inordinate number of word combinations in the English language.  YAY!  Inordinate, try using it today!

Categories: Ideas & Questions, Vocabulary | Leave a comment

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