This morning I was awakened in a curious manner, but not one that I am completely new to. I went to bed around midnight, hoping to sleep until 8 or 9am to feel refreshed for a day of working at a Reiki Clinic, but I awoke at 7:30, startled by someone trying to shake me awake, struggling to make my eyes open in order to respond to this person, sheer confusion as to where the hell I was, striking fear as to why they wouldn’t stop and kept getting a little too violating, and reorienting as to which place was real.
The dream started out in a meeting with my old psychotherapist, Annie, with whom I have not worked with in nearly 4 years. In real life, we have recently opened up communication again briefly seeing if we may want to do more work together. So, in the dream we are meeting again. However, we are meeting in a noisy and turbulent setting, instead of the quiet and peace of a single office. It appears to be a sort of lunch/cafeteria eating area. The only conversation I remember is as Annie begins to tell me that if we run into each other in public or are attending the same event of some sort, we are not to act like we know each other, we are not to converse at those places because that is her policy.
I remember speaking directly to her about how that made me feel hurt. How can I trust her to know all about me and then pretend that she does not know me at all? Well, she begins to get bitter and annoyed with me, saying something about me not truly wanting her help then. I can see her getting angry. She averts her eyes, she moves away from me and starts doing other things, as if to convey that our conversation is over. I practically have to chase her around this loud, chaotic place. I remember feeling conflicted on the inside about whether I wanted to spend money on this situation, yet really feeling so much love for her. I was torn and feeling sad about her anger with me. Finally she sits down at a long lunch table filled with other strangers, I have to slide all the way to the other end to get closer to her, as she hands out, what appears to be, cheeseburgers to everyone at the table.
Next thing I know, I’m in another place completely. The feeling is that it is some part of Ireland or England with grassy hills and flowing streams. I’m climbing up the side of this small stream that is flowing up and over the top, downward toward me, and I’m in my current house slippers. I need to get to the top and over to the other side for some reason. There is a sizable hand-shaped stone that is hanging over the stream at the top of the hill, sort of guiding the water and pointing outward toward nothing really. When I get up to it, I think to myself that I know what this will do if I try to use it (as in using it to help me climb) and I simply push upward on it and it easily moves. I push it off the top and watch it tumble down the hill, splashing its way down.
I scramble over the top without much to see on the other side but more of the same type of landscape. I am trying to reach a certain place. I throw my slippers over the top, because the land where I can stand again without climbing is not that far down and I am hoping to keep the slippers dry. As I hop on down toward the slippers, my weight causes them to sink into the mud a bit and fill with water anyway. Damn, I’m going to have to have wet feet all day again.
Then, as I look up, some people appear. From this higher vantage point, I can see the landscape I have just come from for untold miles and it shifts and changes quietly, as expected in the dream world. I get a bit hesitant about whether these are friends or foes. One comes flying at me on what appears to be a small hover board across the bodies of water making up the landscape. She’s mostly in white and the board is white. And I remember thinking, damn, she just traveled over all that space in a fraction of time it took me to walk!
The conversation is muddled in my memory, but the other guys who felt very Viking-like pointed in the direction I was heading and said something about the place we were all heading back to. I think they wanted me to join them, but I denied their request as they moved passed me and continued on their way.
Next thing I know, I think I’m napping in that same place I had just climbed to, even sleeping practically in the stream, but not all the way. And this is where the shaking began, in the dream. I was laying on my right side, as I was in the real world, as well. Two hands began to shake me on the left, exposed side. I had some time in astral catalepsy, in the dream, where I wanted to wake up and respond to the person trying to signal me to wake up, but my eyes would just not open. I felt like I was moving my head to turn and look in their direction, but I could not pry my eyes open. I could even see the bright light through my eyelids and I felt like I was trying to force them open for a while. The rest of my body was useless, of course. The shaking became more intense and I felt like the hands were getting too violating, growing too close to me under the armpit, like it was going to pick me up.
I was filled with a bit of panic mixed with terror and anxiety…what the hell was going to happen to me? Finally, the catalepsy broke and I opened my eyes into the real world and was filled with the strangest tingling, much like a full-body shiver, but much deeper, and most of it radiated from the places on my body where the hands were and then it traveled down my body out my feet. It felt like a long shiver and I almost felt like I couldn’t wait for it to end, although it probably lasted no more than 10 seconds.
I picked up my head, half expecting to see someone there, feeling scared. However, there was nothing there, as the other half of me knew would be the case. I said out loud, please leave me alone. I know that shiver/chill, it belongs to the other side. It is not my first encounter with being touched from the other side.